Third Wheel Syndrome
by Cronomon
Summary: Nico comes to terms with being a third wheel. NozoEli.


Nico realizes it one night when she's watching the recording of their most recent live.

_Holy shit. Nozoeli is freaking canon._

She pauses at the credits and rewinds. Skips the opening to rewatch the group's introductions. She observes the MC sections. She scours each dance.

By the time the encore comes around, the evidence is undeniable.

Nozomi and Eli are hardcore gay for each other.

—

It isn't as though she's _just_ finding it out, Nico tells herself. They go out on freaking parfait dates, for god's sake. Their not-so-secret relationship is basically a running joke in Muse.

But still.

She hadn't counted on just how real it is.

—

At the end of their next concert, as the group is exiting the stage and waving goodbye to their cheering fans, Eli makes a big deal of holding her hand out to help Nozomi. Nozomi accepts graciously and the two intertwine their fingers as they leave.

The crowd goes wild.

Nico represses a gag.

"What's that face for." Maki arches an eyebrow, more a statement than a question.

Nico turns away gravely. "The cold, hard truth," she answers.

—

The release of _Glass no Hanazono_ doesn't help.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Nico demands one day after school when she's cornered the bewildered lyricist. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

Umi shrugs, looking only marginally cowed and mostly irritated. "Eli and Nozomi thought it was fine," she points out.

Nico is disgusted. "Of course they did."

"Is there a problem?" Umi sounds reluctant to ask. "If you'll recall," she continues, "it was you who mentioned that… well… boosting the yuri vibes… would be a good idea."

"Of course it's a good idea!" she snaps. "I came up with it!"

"Okay then." Umi is miffed but Nico ignores it.

There are more important things to worry about.

Like what the heck she's supposed to do about this growing case of lesbians.

—

During a promotional televised event, Muse is divided into their school year groups, and each trio is meant to perform as a team in simple games.

"Everyone, please cheer us on with an extra powerful Nico-Nico-nii!" Nico delivers her catchphrase to the camera enthusiastically.

On the right side of her, Eli folds her arms against her chest and presses a finger to her cheek, winking at the camera. "_Horosho_. I'll do my best."

Nozomi, on her left, declares, "The third-year team definitely has the most power! It must be because of our cool and cute Elichika, don't you all think?"

"Hey, Nozomi…" Eli gives her a well-practiced partially embarrassed, partially exasperated, predominantly fond look.

Nico can't remember if that's part of their script or not. Before she can help it, she yelps out, "What about me?"

"And, of course, our adorable mascot," Nozomi teases, either genuinely following what they're supposed to do or proving herself an excellent improvisor.

In any case, Nico catches herself and makes an overdramatic pout (that isn't too far off from what she actually wants to do) and with that settled, the event goes on.

Nico thinks she's truly surpassed all standards of acting when she watches the show later on and notices that she managed to suppress every single sour expression she'd wanted to make.

—

It's not like it's a bad thing that Nozomi and Eli are together. That is, _together together_.

Nico figures she should be happy about it. Huzzah, her only friends in her class are going out and are madly in love and only have eyes for each other and are gonna elope to Russia and have like one-eighth Russian babies that are perfect and blonde and probably gay. She wonders when she should send her congratulatory gift.

—

Nico can't tell if she's imagining it, but their concerts suddenly seem to involve a lot more Nozoeli interaction than they used to.

From backstage, she watches as Eli finishes a solo and then turns to face Nozomi, who walks on for her own song.

"Alone as always, aren't you?" Nozomi teases lightly.

"Nozomi." Eli's voice is soft when she addresses the other girl. "That's…"

"Don't worry about it, Elicchi." Nozomi gets closer, brushing her fingers against Eli's shoulder as she passes. "It's my turn now. You'll be listening, won't you?"

Eli nods and pivots slowly to leave. "Yeah. Good luck."

The audience is eating it all up.

Maki has to pinch Nico's cheek to get rid of the growing scowl on her face.

—

"I think I know what you're going through," Honoka tells her, having pulled her aside during lunch one day.

Nico glares at her. "What are you talking about."

"You're showing all the symptoms of it," Honoka goes on without explaining anything. She's nodding sagely, looking for all the world like she's achieved enlightenment, and Nico holds back the urge to throttle her.

"Of what," Nico grounds out instead.

"Third wheel syndrome."

"Hold still, I'm going to strangle you."

—

Once their little tussle is sorted out, ending with Honoka promising to be clear about everything, Nico leans back against a wall and waits.

"I've experienced it too," Honoka says earnestly, rubbing the area around her neck, red from when Nico had grabbed her collar two minutes prior. "Being a third wheel. I mean, have you _felt_ the sexual tension whenever Kotori and Umi perform _Anemone Heart_?"

"Jesus Christ, Honoka."

"I know! It's crazy, isn't it?"

Nico had not been aware that there was any sexual tension during that song. She'd been too busy focusing on the utter gayness of Nozomi and Eli's live performance. She decides not to admit this to Honoka and instead prompts her to get to the point.

"I'm saying, you're not alone. And I just want to let you know, it's hard at first, and that's understandable, but you'll get used to it eventually. It's not like Nozomi and Eli will completely forget about you, you know!"

Nico leaves.

Honoka calls after her, "Fight-o dayo!"

—

The next time the third years dance together as group during a live, Nico realizes that Nozomi and Eli are garnering the most attention.

The stadium is glowing with blue and purple lights. Only a few pink dots stand out in the crowd.

—

A few days after that, Eli and Nozomi invite Nico out for parfaits.

Nico could've sworn she declined, but Nozomi must have performed some sort of witchcraft because the next thing she knows she's at the restaurant sitting at a booth with them and staring blankly as the two try desperately not to be overly romantic with each other with their handholding and longing looks and eye sex or whatever.

When the parfaits arrive, Eli reveals the true purpose of the request. "So. It seems as though lately there's been a little… trouble between us."

"Trouble?" Nico drawls. "What kind of trouble could there _possibly_ be."

Nozomi gives her that knowing eyebrow wiggle and Nico flinches unintentionally.

"It's best to be honest with your feelings, you know," Nozomi advises gently.

"My feelings?" Nico repeats. "What about yours?" It sounds a lot more accusing than Nico intended it to.

Eli blinks, looking honestly confused. "Ours?"

Nico groans. "You're not really going to do this, are you?"

Her friends exchange a glance, and then Nozomi abruptly turns to her with a look of realization and… was that _amusement_? Nico hunches over, unhappy with the triumphant aura that had suddenly started radiating from the fortune teller.

"Could it be," Nozomi sniggers, "that Nico-chan thinks we're dating?"

"What?" Eli's shock sounds genuine.

Nico almost throws her parfait at them. "Are you _not_?" she demands.

Nozomi is too busy laughing to answer, and Eli just seems flustered. Nico kind of wants to melt into her seat.

"I… well…" Eli stammers uselessly.

Nico's ears are burning. She covers her face with her hand and growls, "Don't tell me that was all an act."

"Okay," Nozomi responds in a voice much too chipper for Nico's liking.

"All of it? _All of it_?"

"Well. We're not. That is. _Dating_." Eli's words come out haltingly, and it's clear that she's just as rattled as Nico feels.

"What."

"Buuuut…" Nozomi leans into Eli's shoulder, gazing at her affectionately, and Eli seems to calm down at her touch. "I wouldn't mind if we were," Nozomi admits quietly.

Eli smiles. Nico nearly throws up.

"_Please_ tell me you didn't bring me here just to confess and start this whole thing over again." Nico is on the verge of begging.

Nozomi giggles, straightening up again and waving a hand dismissively. "Don't worry, don't worry. We were really, truly concerned, you know?" She grins, a little more genuinely this time.

"You see, you've been acting a bit off lately, and we wanted to make sure you were alright," Eli adds, and there's a warmth in her eyes that Nico hadn't realized she'd missed.

She mumbles, "Is that so…"

"All of the stuff on stage was just for appearance," Nozomi clarifies. "Well, mostly. Kind of. Ish."

Eli cuts in. "We didn't realize how alone it was making you feel. For that, we're sorry, and we hope you can forgive us."

"In the future, if you're feeling down about something, just talk to us, okay?" Nozomi's eyes gleam. "If you don't, I'll give you a rubbing you'll never forget."

—

Nozomi and Eli are weird, and still irrevocably gay, and the way they were finishing each other's sentences at that time was a little disconcerting, but they cared. They noticed, and they reached out, in their own strange way.

Things don't exactly change after that. If anything, Nozomi and Eli become even more official, probably as a result of the parfait confrontation.

But onstage, when they dance and split into their classes, Nozomi and Eli come up on either side of her and hold her hands and cheer with her as they shout to the crowd.

She sees more glowsticks light pink, and she sees Nozomi's smile and feels Eli's grip, and sure, those two are dating and everyone knows it, sure, they're probably still gonna have their one-eighth Russian babies, but they're still _them_. They're still the lame, nosey, amazing student council pair who watched out for her, and got Honoka to recruit her, and took care of her, and loved her.

Honoka's right, Nico thinks. They won't forget about her.

Being that awkward third wheel might be kind of okay.


End file.
